Your missing it!

There's a new saying in our home. "Your missing it!" "Quick quick your missing out".

This results in whomever is "missing out" dropping everything and running to see what you are doing. I love that both your Daddy and I feel stopping to enjoy you is always more important than anything else we are doing.

Your laugh is so infectious, your intrigue in the world is so amazing, your desire to move and go go go is incredible. But eventually you do run out of energy and fall asleep. But even then we admire you.

Watching you dream, smiling in your sleep. As your Daddy and I pull silly faces at each other over your head. I'm glad I chose my best friend to share my life with. 

Because every moment with you should be savoured and shared with someone as special as you are. 

Guilty pleasures

It's the end of another busy week. Everyone is tired. Both you and Daddy are asleep. While I'd love to finish cleaning the house, or finish my sewing project, I can't move as you are asleep at my breast. 

Every now and then you will startle, but a few moments of comfort sucking and you are back to your deep sleep.

But instead of worrying about what I could (or should) be doing I am enjoying this peaceful rest time. It's not often I get these relaxing nursing moments these days.

You are so active at all times you are either latching on and off while trying to see what else is happening around you, or you stop feeding to get my attention to give me a cheeky smile. Even if you are feeding you will be tapping my chest firmly or exploring my face with your free hand. 

Nursing you is about so much more than just feeding you. It's where you find comfort when your sad, tired or uneasy. A time to reconnect and play with mama as you have my full attention and if you don't you know how to get it!

Chubby little fingers

When I was little I used to suck my thumb, so I wondered whether you would do the same. 

You have no interest in your thumb, your fingers on the other hand are delicious! But they are especially nommy when taken backwards! 

After the rain there is always rainbows

It's hard to imagine life before you were born. Life is so much richer with you in it. The simplest things bring me the greatest joy.

I am learning to slow down and take notice of the world, because I want to share it with you. 

Again I walked you home from the shops today to let you sleep. On the way home it rained, infact it poured. 

But the rain didn't last and it stopped when we were closer to home. And though we may have been soaking wet, if we didn't walk home we wouldn't have stumbled upon a flock of rainbow lorikeets feeding on worms that had been brought to the surface from the rain.

Seeing them fly up into the trees as we walked past was a beautiful sight. It reminded me of your rainbow leggings. 

One day I will delight in seeing you run towards the birds chasing them in your rainbow leggings.

Smoochies

You have so much love to give, and you are now showing your love with sweet smoochy kisses. 

I will never make you kiss or hug anyone. I hated when I was made to kiss or hug someone when I was a child. I feel this does not teach you that your body is your own, not something others should force you to share. 

So if someone asks you for a kiss or hug you have the right to say no and not be made feel guilty for your choice. 

So when you offer a kiss or hug on your own it is truly a special gift. When you decide to give a kiss you do it with such purpose. Grabbing mamas cheeks, pulling mamas face to yours and planting a lovely open mouth kiss on mamas face with a big trail of drool left behind. 

I may love them even more when you learn to close your mouth so it's not quite a sloppy kiss. But I will always accept your gift with gratitude remembering that it was given with love. 

The sounds of the morning

A big day yesterday celebrating Poppy's 60th birthday, out to dinner, and then off to Alexis' 30th birthday. So a very late night had by all. 

But it's morning, and despite minimal sleep the sounds that now fill our days are here. 

Little chatting sounds, spit bubbles being blown, rolling and attempts to crawl from mummy to daddy. Mama stands you up and your face lights up showing your dimples and the sparkle in your eyes. 

There is no sign of a sleep-in now. But Mama still attempts to sneak in a few more moments of closed eyes as you play with Daddy.

But even with my eyes closed I can hear Daddy say to you "let's just have a nice snuggle for a little while. No need to keep kicking and swinging your arms around. No need to pinch necks. No need to smack daddy in the face". All the while the little giggles and squarks continue.

Luckily your delight at the new day is infectious, it's enough to get us out of bed to play, just as you have been insisting. And the excitement of the big day ahead helps us spring into action, and make a huge cup of coffee! 

Missing you

How is it possible? For the past (almost) five months I have spent almost every moment of your life with you. 

You're either at my breast, playing with me, asleep in your carrier on my back or asleep in my arms. Yet I still miss you my dear little one.

I miss you as I stare at you sleeping in my arms. I love that you are asleep, but I still miss you as I know when you wake I will be treated to the most amazing smile that lights up my world. I can't wait to wake up tomorrow!

St Patrick's Day

Your first St Patrick's day was spent at one of our monthly Family Midwives gatherings. So you were able to play with all your friends including Eleanor, Coen & Zappora. 

The first of many St Patrick's Days that you will spend laughing and chatting with your friends over a few drinks (this years drinks being mama milk). 

You were the loudest chatterbox of all the little ones with so much to say, but Eleanor was a close second when she woke up. I can see you two will have lots of long chats one day.

I love being able to share these yearly traditions with you, when normally they would pass me by as I was too busy with work. 

Luckily you had a big morning sleep so mama was able to quickly create an outfit for you to wear. My little Irish doll, you are mamas pot of gold at the end of a rainbow. 

Goodbye summer days

The seasons are changing, autumn is here. The mornings are starting out cooler now. Though they still warm up to remind us of the long hot days of summer. Soon enough these days will get shorter and colder.

As the leaves begin to change, I can see that just as summer has finished, your days of being that little baby have gone with it. 

I can't help but feel a little sad that these special days are already past. But there is so much fun ahead of us as you begin to explore, and your world starts to expand.

You are now able to move yourself quite a distance with rolling, wiggling and worming your way along. It won't be long till you have coordinated your limbs to start crawling. You can now stand and support yourself by holding onto things without someone holding you to balance.

Each day I find something else no longer fits you. So I'm packing away the 000 clothes which only a few weeks ago seemed huge, now 00 are required. 

After a very busy few weeks I now feel like I want to stop and savour our time together. I don't wish to share you anymore with the whole world. So days at home to play and connect are what I feel are needed. Winter is coming and it is time to hibernate my little one. 

Peaceful walks

Another busy day packed full of adventure and a long "to do list". Which meant many car trips and not much peaceful rest time for you. 

So when you fell asleep at the shops just as we were about to leave I couldn't bear to wake you by putting you in the car.

There was only one solution. Daddy drove the shopping home and mama walked you home so that you could have a descent sleep.

It was lovely walking with you, under Grandma's umbrella to keep us shaded from the hot sun. As we stopped to cross at the lights, there was the local community bus that grandma used to take. I've never seen it before, but she always told me about her daily outings on the bus. 

I think that was grandmas way of letting us know she was with us. Watching over you and I. She would have loved you dearly. 

Kisses

Kisses from daddy before he leaves for work. Always a bitter sweet moment.

You're asleep as he leaves and you will be asleep when he gets home. But now I've got you all to myself for a few hours. 

Babywearing Daddy

One of the highlights of my days is catching moments shared between you and your Daddy. 

Whether it is sharing a story, playing with your toys, or having cuddles. Each of these moments are magical for me to see. 

The other night your Daddy should have been sleeping before night duty, but instead he chose to wear you so that he could spend time with you. He walked around for over an hour to keep you asleep. 

Then he came to tell me how beautiful you are, and how much he loves you dearly. I love that babywearing gives you two this opportunity to bond. 

Growing knowledge

So many new little babies being born now shows just how big you really are. As mums we chat and compare our babes. Birth weights, sleep patterns, feeding challenges and triumphs.

It's nice to look back on our journey and see how far we have come. Remembering the nights of endless cluster feeds from 6-9pm or longer. 

Sharing the knowledge we have now with new mums. Things like maximizing sleep by using prefolds at night so that you no longer have to change nappies after feeds. Tips to save money to extend maternity leave, like using cloth wipes, reusable breast pads, and where to buy cheap breastfeeding clothes.

It's lovely to be able to share the small knowledge we've gathered with other new mums. So hopefully they too will share their knowledge one day.

Each day you teach me something new, I can't wait to see what I will learn tomorrow. 

Grateful for pooexplosions

I will miss these days when your all grown up. 

You really hate the car, especially when mama can't sit in the back and play with you. So when it is just you and I going somewhere I know it will be very distressing for you. I don't enjoy hearing you cry, it breaks my heart. 

Though you love it when we are out as there is so much to see. Today we went to the gardens to see our friends. You loved watching the big kids feeding the ducks. You loved getting cuddles from all the kids as they each asked to hold you. 

But of course there comes the time that we have to leave. And though you were happy for a short time on the drive home, you had your "Sophie" and your "rumbly bumbly bear". However I knew you needed to do a poo, and so when you began to cry I knew you must be dirty, as your cry became more and more distressed, of course there was no where safe to pull over.

Finally there was a quiet street to pull over in. And sure enough you had pooed, a pooexplosion all over you and your seat. Your poor little face looking up at me so sad. So after cleaning you up, giving you a fresh nappy and finding some clean clothes for you, you then vomited on them. So again I cleaned you off and found you a clean singlet to wear. 

But now you need a feed. So we sit and we cuddle. And as you fall asleep at my breast I think about how grateful I am for these days. 

Grateful that we have an airconditioned car to sit in on this hot day. Grateful for friends to spend time with. Thankful for our woven to cover you as the sun beams through the windscreen. Grateful that I have this moment to stop and admire you, to count your fingers, to smell your baby scent, stroke your soft skin and play with your tuft of hair. 

I will miss these days

Mothers are strong!

Yesterday a lady contacted me to ask my advice. I've never met her and don't know exactly how she found me but she is about to have a baby and is walking a similar path to me so I guess that's why we have connected. In our discussion about birth choices and preparations she has just said something that really resonates with me that I wish to remember. 

"This process is about losing control and being totally ok about it"

I can't believe how true this statement is. Birth is hard and it makes you strong. You cannot be in control during labour and if you can let go and accept this, it actually makes you more powerful than you have ever been. 

Not because you have more muscle or more physical strength, but because you know exactly what your body is capable of. It empowers you as a woman, because hell if I can do that I can do anything! 

And as a mother you need that inner strength to show you that hell I know what's best for my child no one else. I know what's right for us, it may not be what's right for another mum and baby but that's because we are all different.

So I'm glad that I had such an empowering birth that while it was long and hard, and at times I felt I couldn't possibly go on, that I did it. Because now I know I have the strength to be your mama. 

Extraordinary days

Everything I've ever wanted in life I had today. Sitting sewing a blanket for you while you slept on my back, Daddy out clearing the garden while Gracie and Bailey watched on.

 I sat there thinking about all those years I was so sad because I wanted our own space, to garden, to have a baby and time to enjoy my sewing. And today I had it all. 

I realize that all the hard work and waiting has finally paid off. If we'd had a baby when we were younger it wouldn't be you.

I wouldn't be blessed with a job that allows me to have this time off to spend with you. Filling our days with milky smiles, sweet giggles, and creating lasting memories. 

We wouldn't have been able to afford our home where you were born and where we have discovered a love of gardening. To be able to grow food from seeds is something I'm glad I can now teach you as you get older. 

To anyone else today would have looked like the most ordinary boring day, but to me today was magical. I can't wait to see what the future will bring, but something tells me it is going to be extraordinary!