Things I didn't know about breastfeeding

I will admit I thought I had a good knowledge base about breastfeeding before I had you. But as always you have taught me that some things are only learnt through experience.

One of the things I most looked forward to when planning a baby was being able to nurse you, and if I'm honest I thought I was going to be awesome at it.

For years I have been telling women that the first six weeks are challenging and then it gets easier. Well turns out I'm a liar! It's more like the first three MONTHS are hard, exhausting, and at times painful. Frankly feeding a newborn sucks.

But as if you knew that these feeds were difficult for me, you would always hold my hand. No matter how uncomfortable or tired I was this little hand holding firmly onto mine was enough for me to get through those early days. 

Then we hit a lovely cruisy stage where it was fairly easy to feed you, enjoyable, the way I pictured nursing a baby. 

So apart from the constant soaking at night where many times I thought it might have started raining in our house only to realize I had a milk fountain showering us (not quite champagne showers but more nutritious!). 

Or I'd have to sniff the massive wet patch on the bed to see is that milk or has your nappy leaked? (Thankfully it was almost always milk). This was so far the easiest stage of our journey.

I knew that I would feed you on demand, and I expected you to feed to sleep as is biologically normal. But I didn't realize you would want to feed to sleep, then feed to wake, and really why not also let me sleep on here in between incase I need a snack while I'm asleep. But secretly mama loves this time as it's a little rest for me too while you sleep.

 

Then it seems you didn't just want milk and comfort anymore, but this also became a tactile experience. You bang your hand against my chest, squeeze squish and pinch the breast in an effort to speed up that let down or to make sure you managed to get every last drop of milk hiding in there. 

Sometimes you can't be bothered waiting for a let down so you will suck for two seconds, detach and check out surroundings, relatch for two seconds..nope not yet repeat till let down then drink. Unless someone talks or a bird squaks or a breeze blows then stop and sit up look around again. But if you dare put that breast away you are going to be in trouble cause can't you tell I'm feeding here?

When you are focused you often reach your hand up to explore the curves of my face, squeezing my nose and stroking my cheek. Stroking your hand across my chest feeling the change as the skin softens once the milk is almost gone. You seem so content.

I love these lessons you have taught me, even the painful ones like ensuring your nails are always trimmed or you will use them as a weapon. But we are still so early in our journey at only seven months, I know there are many more things I am yet to learn. 

I'm so grateful to be on this journey with you and I will cherish these moments long after the last drop of milk has dried up.