Things you have put in your mouth that don't belong there

Dog toys (must have dog slobber on it)

Dirt (pretty standard for most babies)

Toilet brush (this one made me brush your teeth after)

Dog food (surely it has some good protein? Thank goodness it was grain free)

Dog water (this was more of a bath)

Poop (yep, it was your poo if that makes it any better. Wish I'd taken a photo for your 21st but I was too busy stripping you off and running you up to the shower trying not to leave a poo trail)

Motherhood...it's never boring! 

The master explorer

Your world has suddenly become so much bigger and much more intriguing. Gone are the days of you happily playing in one area content with exploring the toys around you. 

Infact toys are the least exciting thing in your world. Who would want to play with toys when you could climb the stairs instead, or play in the dog bowls, splashing the water and taste testing the food. Every button must be pushed, all electrical cords must be chewed, and the robo vacuum is clearly a ride on version. 

I love watching you 're-sort' the washing I just folded. Your face is so focused and every action has such intent. Though I wish I could just throw it in the drawers without re-folding it all.

You are getting such confidence in your body, you trust that your legs are strong enough to hold your weight as you walk along the furniture. Everything is an opportunity to test your strength and balance as you climb up onto the coffee table then up onto the chair as you discover the window you can now see out of. 

Life is amazing and exciting when seen through your eyes. I love watching you triumphantly smile at your latest achievement. I wonder what you will conquer next. 

Love at first sight

Before I knew I was pregnant with you somebody else knew. Gracie was the first to realize you were there. All through my  pregnancy she would rest her head on my tummy listening to the rhythm of your heart. 

There was many times she even felt you kicking and wiggling around. So it was no surprise that from the moment you were born it was love at first sight. Even Bailey fell in love with your sweet little personality, ever ready to protect you from any harm.

Now that you are not only crawling but have an insatiable need to explore, Gracie and Bailey have been the target of your excitement.

They learnt quickly to jump up and move away when you get close, but that doesn't deter you as you stop, spin around and chase them around and around. 

You desperately want to pat them, feeling their hair between your fingers, the rough pads on their feet and the soft hair on their ears. 

Finally I found a way to allow you to play with them without them losing any clumps of hair to your sneaky little hands. We all sit out the front in the warm winter sun. Mama blows bubbles into the breeze and the puppies jump and chase them as they float around. 

This leaves you in a fit of giggles, and my heart swells with love watching my little boy play with his puppies. 

Bedtime rituals

When I was a little girl your Poppy would tuck me into bed every night and say the same goodnight poem to me. It was our little ritual, I couldn't sleep until he said it. I still think of his loving words with fond memories.

Now that we have you, we have developed our own bedtime ritual. A nice warm shower with mama to calm down and wash away the day. Then Daddy wraps you in a big fluffy towel.

We rub your feet with lavender infused coconut oil and a splash of tea tree oil to keep the bugs away. Then you lay there still, watching and waiting. And as we ask if you are ready for your drops your arms start flapping up and down with excitement. 

Your eyes light up and your hands pause as you gently open your mouth grasping the dropper. A few homeopathic remedies to help you sleep and keep you healthy. 

Then you and Daddy play, read stories, dance and sing. While mama finishes getting ready for bed. Your Daddy says "isn't that the best sound in the whole world"... As you giggle and laugh happily. 

It seems you must be too excited to go to sleep now. But as we snuggle down under the blanket together, your eyes soon begin to close as the magic of milkies take you off to the land of nod. 

I know as you grow our ritual will evolve, but I hope you too will look back one day with fond memories of bedtime. 

Sweet dreams

The sweet smell of milk on your breath, your growing strands of hair tickling my face, the soft sounds of your breath mixed with the rise and fall of your chest. Everything about you is intoxicating. 

I am overwhelmed with warmth, as love fills every cell in my body, overflowing and wrapping itself around us like a warm blanket on a cold winters night.

I smile as you start to giggle in your sleep, dreaming perhaps of your Daddy chasing you around the house playing monsters, or Mama jumping out behind Daddy to surprise you. 

Later you start to squirm and let out a whimper and then a cry. I pull you closer and tell you "It's alright Mama is here" and your little body relaxes again and your rhythmic breathing again takes over.

I love that all I need to do to make you feel safe, secure and loved is to simply be here for you. 

Things I didn't know about breastfeeding

I will admit I thought I had a good knowledge base about breastfeeding before I had you. But as always you have taught me that some things are only learnt through experience.

One of the things I most looked forward to when planning a baby was being able to nurse you, and if I'm honest I thought I was going to be awesome at it.

For years I have been telling women that the first six weeks are challenging and then it gets easier. Well turns out I'm a liar! It's more like the first three MONTHS are hard, exhausting, and at times painful. Frankly feeding a newborn sucks.

But as if you knew that these feeds were difficult for me, you would always hold my hand. No matter how uncomfortable or tired I was this little hand holding firmly onto mine was enough for me to get through those early days. 

Then we hit a lovely cruisy stage where it was fairly easy to feed you, enjoyable, the way I pictured nursing a baby. 

So apart from the constant soaking at night where many times I thought it might have started raining in our house only to realize I had a milk fountain showering us (not quite champagne showers but more nutritious!). 

Or I'd have to sniff the massive wet patch on the bed to see is that milk or has your nappy leaked? (Thankfully it was almost always milk). This was so far the easiest stage of our journey.

I knew that I would feed you on demand, and I expected you to feed to sleep as is biologically normal. But I didn't realize you would want to feed to sleep, then feed to wake, and really why not also let me sleep on here in between incase I need a snack while I'm asleep. But secretly mama loves this time as it's a little rest for me too while you sleep.

 

Then it seems you didn't just want milk and comfort anymore, but this also became a tactile experience. You bang your hand against my chest, squeeze squish and pinch the breast in an effort to speed up that let down or to make sure you managed to get every last drop of milk hiding in there. 

Sometimes you can't be bothered waiting for a let down so you will suck for two seconds, detach and check out surroundings, relatch for two seconds..nope not yet repeat till let down then drink. Unless someone talks or a bird squaks or a breeze blows then stop and sit up look around again. But if you dare put that breast away you are going to be in trouble cause can't you tell I'm feeding here?

When you are focused you often reach your hand up to explore the curves of my face, squeezing my nose and stroking my cheek. Stroking your hand across my chest feeling the change as the skin softens once the milk is almost gone. You seem so content.

I love these lessons you have taught me, even the painful ones like ensuring your nails are always trimmed or you will use them as a weapon. But we are still so early in our journey at only seven months, I know there are many more things I am yet to learn. 

I'm so grateful to be on this journey with you and I will cherish these moments long after the last drop of milk has dried up. 

Time warp

Time is such a strange thing, it can feel fast or slow, but it never really changes speed.

I feel as though since you were born time has sped up and you are leaping from one month to the next, if I blink I might miss it. 

Yet at the same time you are teaching me the art of slowing down and enjoying each moment. You teach me patience as I stop to let you cuddle and feed when we get to the shops to help settle and soothe you after an upsetting car ride. 

I let you walk holding my hands and watch your eyes light up as you slowly take each step, knowing the shops are closing soon and I am unlikely to get all my errands done. 

We take the time to sit with you on the lawn so you can feel the blades of grass between your fingers as your not yet ready to get back in the car. Even though we really must get home so daddy can sleep before night duty. 

Though whilst your Daddy and I are happy to give you this time, I can already feel the expectations of the world we live in creeping in. With comments like "what else are you doing besides being a mum?" "why does it take you so long to do everything?" "why are you always late?".

For me nothing is more important than giving you time because in a moment it's about to speed up and it will be gone.